I decided to self publish because I was irritated with the censorship nonsense, and let's be clear, not censorship over all, but the hypocrisy surrounding it. Ok, (And for the record I am not writing about rape, so let's not get it twisted). Don't tell me that rape for titillation is not ok, but then fail to specify, that rape for action is ALSO not ok. Don't tell me that rape is not ok and then approve a book with forced molestation. Personally, I am not into reading NON-erotic books about women that are blatantly raped, let alone erotic books about rape for the sake of stimulation (for women's stimulation, mind you) even though some women are into that. And shit, we all have a line, my line just doesn't go that far. For instance, I don't mind forced molestation. I'll provide an example: She is attracted to him but she doesn't know him like that, but she's been daydreaming about being with him. He doesn't know her that well but he has been fantasizing as well. One day he pulls her in the back room and ties her up and she says, "Pleas don't force me". He say's, "I'm not going to force you". Then he proceeds to rip off her shirt and kiss her breasts. She is blushing and can't believe what is happening. She want's this but she feels like it's wrong. Her nipples are getting hard, she is wet and she wants him so badly. She is saying, "No. Don't," but her body is saying, "Yes". By the end of it she is so hot that she is begging him to screw her and he does. Is that rape? No. Is it forced molestation? Yes. Is it hot? For a good chunk of women, including myself, yes. Now, I stopped reading a book the other day and returned it. It was "Fury" by Laurann Dohner in the "New Species" series. I was REALLY excited about this series, as I had just finished The ZORN Warriors Series (MMMMmmmmm! Yummy!) Here is why: For me it was too close to rape. He didn't want to please her and make her feel good (at least not from what he expressed verbally, even though we, as the audience, know he did). He wanted to make her suffer and punish her for revenge and she was going to allow herself to be raped because of what? Guilt! Naw, F*ck that S*it. I'm not feeling that. I was looking for some sort of verbal exchange between them to let me know that they "understood" each other, if you will, and that even though he wanted to hurt her, he wanted to please her, and she KNEW that. But there was no verbal exchange of that. So as far as I'm concerned, she was going to allow herself to be raped out of guilt and feeling like she deserved it. That to me is NOT sexy...Now I respect that some women find that sexy. Especially since it really sets up the vulnerability, out right, so there is a real sense of being taken advantage of and still feeling safe (without all of the side talk to make us, as the reader, feel comfortable). I get it, but it's not for me. With that said...Don't sit her and tell me that you don't approve books about rape, when you do. Don't sit her and tell me that you don't approve books that use weapons sexually, when I just read about a guy being beaten with an asp baton, ass raped with it and then the perpetrator was preparing to rape him with his perverted dick (yes that was in the book. It was written in past tense and not for titillation but nevertheless). If you are going to censor then be CLEAR about what you are going to censor. Don't be a hypocrite. Art is GREY! I understand that. And I'm sorry, but I don't give a shit about your feelings or your morals. If you don't like it, DON'T READ IT! Get your money back! Period. This is why I'm not feeling censorship. So, I am going to go ahead and try my luck and see what happens. There is nothing too bad in my books but because the line isn't clear, I don't know what they are going to be ok with and what they are not. If my shit get's censored, then I am going to post here. If blogger censors me, then I am going to just go ahead and start a website. I like writing and I want to write it the way I see it in my imagination. For now, I will probably have revised versions for these mainstream sites (smashwords) and then have the hahaha uncut version here (had a little "American Pie/Road Trip" moment). Not the entire story but just the title and the original writing of said section. Anyway. I'm done ranting for now. I would love to hear your comments about this topic and if you have read that FURY book and you really think I should give it a chance and that's it's not as bad as I think it's gonna be then I am open to hearing what you have to say. So with that, Peace out! :)
PS sorry for typos/grammer errors, this is just a rant so not gonna spend too much time on it.