Pissed. #4LBS

I am DONE with Pasta. I switched to rice and I started losing weight. I was 3 lbs away from my first goal and then I started eating spaghetti. In 1 WEEK, I gained 4 fucking pounds! THAT'S IT!!!!!! Back to rice! This is that BS!

Gateway Market's Got Class

This weekend I really needed a mental pick me up. I needed something to help me affirm that I was wealthy, sexy and classy. I decided that the best thing to do, of course, would be to go out to a "cafe." I specifically wanted to go to a cafe because a cafe has a feel that a restaurant doesn't. It's that European (especially French) feel that I love so much. I had a few places in mind: Gusto (which I didn't know at the time was a pizza place), Palmer's Deli & Market (which was a lot nicer before they renovated), Noodles & Co., and Gateway Market's Cafe. I literally drove to all 4 of them, looked around and looked at their menus. I was actually planning on going to Palmer's deli because I had been there before and I just LOVED what I had seen but I feel like they lost a lot of their charm when they renovated. It's like they cut out half of their options. When I walked in there, it just felt empty. It could have been the time of day. I went to Noodles & Co but I really didn't want to take a chance that the bowl of food would be too small, plus, it didn't have that cafe feel. I drove to Gusto and once I read that it was a Pizza place, I drove off because I didn't want pizza. Then I went back to Gateway. (I say "back," because that was the first place I went.)

(Not my pic)

When I first walked into Gateway, I was quite pleasantly surprised. I had no idea it was a fancy-schmancy, Whole Foods/Trader Joe's type place. Wow. Can I just say totally European/New York/California. I felt like I was in a charming adult candy land. They had organic this and fresh that. Local this and exotic that. It was awesome. There's so much to explore in there. Here is a little taste of the inside:

(The one above isn't my pic)

I actually left and went to Palmer's because I had been wanting to eat there for a while but like I said, it was different than the last time I went. I came back to Gateway, looked around at all of the delicious options: Brands of Water that I'd never heard of, Amish Rotisserie Chicken (haven't had Amish chicken since I lived in MI.), the Pastry Shelf...My God. I had one of those rich, moist, dripping cinnamon rolls covered in pecans! My God it was heavenly. I still have some on top of the fridge. Tomatoes I had never heard of...I love tomatoes.
(That's my pic of their water )
(I took that pic for my mom.)

(<========== Here's my Pecan Cina-Roll)
But I had a mission. I wanted something delicious and classy to eat that was going to make me feel as special as I am. I waltzed into the cafe and looked at a paper menu because I can't stand looking up at those chalk menus. I want to really review my menu. I had narrowed it down to about 3 things: A Chicken Club sandwich- no bacon in the club- which was fine cause I didn't want bacon but I just found it strange that they named it "club." I've never heard of a club sandwich that didn't have bacon on it; a Corned Beef Reuben and they had a Tuna steak or something that caught my eye, but I really didn't feel like fish. I checked the menu to see if they had Pastrami instead of corned beef and they didn't, so I decided on the grilled chicken club. This chicken club sandwich was made with a Pesto Aioli sauce. I had never heard the word "aioli" before so of course, I asked how to pronounce it. (Ah-Oh-Lee) It's the green sauce on my sandwich below:

I was hesitant to order the onion rings because they were thin cut and I thought the were going to be too thin but it turned out well. I ordered a glass of Pinot Grigio and went to my seat. The meal came out and goodness gracious. It looked delicious. (That is my meal =============>)

Great portion size. They served the sandwich on a Focaccia Bun (like they were reading my mind) with extra provolone cheese (just the way I asked for it) and the pesto aioli. When I took a bite into that sandwich, I tell you the truth, my taste buds were restored. I had grown so weary of eating turkey sandwiches everyday at work; I needed something to remind me that food was awesome. This place did the trick. The chicken was juicy, the sauce was great, the onion rings weren't too thin or too greasy. Everything was on point and the service was great. I will definitely be going back to this place, not only for food but for groceries. I can't believe it took me so long to go. I am also going to take my bath salt there and see if they'd be interested in selling it.

(<========= My Bath Salts)
Not THAT would be cool! Alright everyone, I know I haven't been blogging as much but I've been really busy. I am going to do my best to blog when I am inspired. (Like I was this weekend.) Thank you Gateway Market, for being so classy and wonderful.

Catching Up.

I am making some body butter today. I am aiming to make body "cream," specifically. I don't have a lot to say today; I just kind of wanted to let you all know that I am still here. I am working on finding a balance between this and my other responsibilities. I have to work out tonight. I only have about 2 lbs to go to reach my first short term goal which is getting out of the double digit twos and into the single digits. Then I will only have 10 lbs to lose to get out of the 200's all together. :) That will be nice.

My birds just ate their second egg. That made me really change my attitude toward them. I guess I shouldn't judge them but still, it makes me uncomfortable to know that they are eating their own unborn progeny. 

I have to catch up on some blog reading tonight. :) That's the good thing about getting everything done on Saturday, I have time for what I really want to do on Sunday. 

I have started to claim that I am a Master of the LoA. I am going to get there so may as well claim it now. I can manifest what ever I like. 

Otherwise, I am feeling well. Catch up with you all later. 

XOXO

Lola K.

Kinky thoughts, micro blog?

hahaha we goan see if this turns out to be a micro blog. Y'all know how I am.

I was just thinking about the power of pictures and kinky sex. haha Honestly, I don't know what I want to say...I'm just drinking and feeling sexy. I know one thing is for sure, we gotta embrace our beauty and be bold, sexy women. If your man tells you he likes it, then he likes it and you just gotta trust him. Don't let your insecurities get in the way. Get sexy. Get kinky. Have fun. Be free. That's what I have to say. Even if you have to pretend that you are a character hahaha.

Work, Weight Management and the Law of Attraction

Oh my damn. I wrote this on the 18th, just so you know, at work, that's how long it took me to be able to take the time to get it posted online. So without further ado:

Since I started this new job, "busy" isn't even the word. It's not even the work load; it's the schedule. I'm used to working evenings/nights and having all morning/day to hang out and get things done. Now, I am getting up at 6, working from 8-4:30 and sometimes overtime and on average, getting home well after 5. Then I only have about 5-6 hours to get all of my work done before I have to go back to bed: working out (which has gone on the back burner and I need to start again today), the magazine, cleaning the house, blogging and reading blogs, writing ( which I haven't had time to do :(  ). Plus, I still have to make time for the radio show. (I even fell asleep on the show 2 weeks ago because it went over by almost an hour and I was tired and had to get up at 6-and the show doesn't even start until 10 my time. I didn't know how to tell Palmetto that I needed to go, and I tried to stay up, but I just fell asleep and woke up to the sound of the outro song he had chosen for the night.) Plus I still have to be a good friend and daughter and make time for friends and family, AND I was asked to do a project for a friend of my moms...I am on the verge of feeling burnt out. I think I am most sad about the fact that I have had some really good ideas for stories but I just haven't had the time to even sit down and start the first few lines. (Shit, I haven't even had time to sit down and think about what was going to happen in the story.) Ultimately, it's just going to be a challenge in time management, which I said I wanted to get better at. You know, dedicating a little time to a few things every day, instead of dedicating a lot of time to a couple things and the other things fall off. So anyway, I'm not trying to come off like I'm complaining, I'm just sharing with you all what's been going on, just like with everything else.

As for my weight loss... it's been going pretty well. I wouldn't say I've been "losing" but I have been maintaining, which is Necessary. I have always had a problem with keeping the weight off and I have been able to keep myself at the same weight now for about 3 weeks, so that's wonderful. I have also done a couple of cleansers (which I hated but they are good for me) and I got my mom and Palmetto doing them with me. I actually told them about it and I did it one week and they were doing it over 3 weeks and I felt like a slacker, so I had to do another one : / My goal is to start working out again today. I also have made some progress in regards to my "bridge" goal. I can (on the ground) push my self up into a half bridge! So that's excellent! Practice, Practice, Practice! My arms are definitely getting stronger.

Law of attraction baby! You know what it comes down to? (Which is very challenging for me...) It comes down to completely changing one's mindset. I have been taught to think like someone who is in poverty because I grew up in a lower class household with a single mom and around people in the same situation (maybe slightly better) for all of my life. And the people that did have slightly better situations (lower-middle to middle class, I didn't really hang out with them or their parents). My definition of lower class is making less than 50k/year and I'm pretty sure my mom was making less than 25k/year at her Peak and that was after I went to college. Cause there's middle class, lower middle class, lower class and poor. Most of my life I have been in poverty (making less than 15k/year) and as I said above, I grew up in a household where, at best, my mom was making less than 25k/year. To be honest, I think even that's a stretch. I really don't know how she did it with a child. She was always talking about robbing Peter to pay Paul. Anyway, my whole life has been learning to: budget, sacrifice, do without, only get what you need, live bellow your means and think about what I can't afford. Now there are some good things in there, but this is really the attitude of a person who is in survival mode/poverty. This is not the attitude of someone who is safe, secure and wealthy financially.

I have had to work on completely reconstructing my attitude to think like someone who has money and I really only know one person who has ever had money and that's my aunt, and the more I get better at the LoA, the more I sound like her (when I used to hear her saying things growing up). So, I have decided to stop chalking things up to coincidence and realize that what I say, do,  think, see and believe all play a part in the way my life goes. Something I have been saying lately is, "What I can get is not determined by how much money I have; How much money I have is determined by what I want. I am telling the universe what I want and I am moving in that direction and knowing that the money/opportunity is there.

I also have to trust. I have to trust and move in the direction of that trust. Something interesting that has been going on in my mind is that I am saying that I trust and that I can afford it but then I don't act like it. I was reminded that I have to act like it. You know how they say, "Actions speak louder than words"? Well this applies to the universe as well. You gotta be about it. So I went out and bought the bed I was a little scared to buy and you know what? I still have a roof over my head. I never ended up homeless; everything worked out in the end. I was also taught over the last few months to not feel guilty about where the help comes from. That is hard for me. It makes me feel like a burden and a failure but that is judging the situation and myself. Judgement is counter productive when on the path to Nirvana. Take the help and be grateful. That's the end of it. So that's what I've been learning to do. I am also stepping out of my comfort zone and not putting a cap on my potential wealth. I have been speaking as though I am financially free.

So, I was able to use the LoA to get myself a bunch of things that I have been needing (like a bed) and wanting (like a Kindle Fire- with the Hello Kitty sleeve that I love, and perfume- because I deserve to smell like the Goddess that I am). Let me tell you something...Memory Foam is the best investment you can make for yourself in the world of sleep/furniture. I have not had to toss one time since I bought the thing. I got a 6 inch memory foam mattress from Wal Mart.com and it has been nothing but good to me. I will definitely be getting one for my home, but probably more like 8-12 inches. :)

Anyway, that's about all. Tomorrow I am going to take some pictures of the stuff I got and post them in the blog. I am also thinking about blogging about my progress in being Assertive and doing a book review. I really am going to do my best to start doing some more micro blogging on here and blogging at work and coming home and typing it out. Thank you for your support and reading my online diary :)

If you have any comments or questions, hit me up.

Micro Blogging...

I've made a decision. I am going to do some micro blogging. There is no excuse for me to not make time to blog at all, so I will do some micro blogs and when I have time, I will do my full on blog posts :) Sounds like a plan to me!

Work

I'm so sorry everyone... I just started a new job (*half hearted yea*) and it's got me really tired cause I'm on a schedule I'm not accustomed to. I will do my best to start blogging more...I didn't realize it's been so long.
: (

Grown and Sexy, Law of Attraction and e-Readers

So this year I have decided to step it up. My theme for this year is Grown and Sexy! (Like both of them but mainly the one on the left. She's my icon for this year.)

Every change that I am making in my life is about being grown and sexy, and rightfully so, I am going to be 30 this year. :D I know some people are starting to feel old but I am actually just starting to feel like a woman and I am quite excited about it and I want to embrace it for at least the next 30 years before I start to consider myself "getting old". 

So as a part of that, one of the things on my list of goals is changing my attitude to one like Yoda spoke about in Star Wars which is, "Size matters not". My mom pointed out something to me; she reminded me that Yoda told Luke that he failed because he Could Not Believe It. This is a very important thing. It's not about the fact that he tried and couldn't do it; it's not about the fact that he had the wrong mentality; it's about the fact that he had the coach right there and he saw the coach do it right in front of him and with all of that evidence, he still Could Not Believe that it could Even be Done! 

I am working on getting into the depths of my subconscious to make sure that I know that I know that I can do it. I am working on KNOWING that there is no difference... no matter what the size, price or distance. I decide what my life will entail and the money comes to make that happen, not the other way around. Now, how does all of this connect to an e-reader? If you would have asked me last year if I could manifest $500 to spend on e-readers for me and my love, I would have told you..."I don't know. I'll try". 

Now I am here to tell you, "Yes. I can". This is 2013 and it is my year and I am doing it big and grown and sexy. I am not letting the size or price of anything stand in my way. 

I decided that if I got an e-reader I would do a lot more reading (because a lot of my books are on PDF). Then I decided that I wanted to get one for my friend. I did the visualizations, decided that I had it now and when it came time to decide what I wanted, I worked with my inner spirit to get myself over the price hump and really sat down and decided what I Wanted in an E-reader... not what I could afford. I did research, I was prepared and acted as though, not only that the money was going to come, but that I had the e-reader now! After much research, I came to the conclusion that I wanted a basic Kindle Paperwhite and, so far, that's what I'm sticking with. Now I didn't know how I was going to afford that (especially since when I started out, I was only planning on getting one original kindle for $70 and that somehow turned into two Paperwhite 3G's with cases for a whopping $500) but it didn't matter, because I was going to get it. 

So what happened? The money came. I was only expecting to get a little bit but I got A Lot and then...my friend let me know that he already had one..and I decided that the fancy one that I was gonna get didn't really suit my needs, and I went to the store to check out the case and didn't like it and realized that a less expensive case would do just fine and now instead of having to spend the $500 that came, I only have to spend about $150-$200 of it :D hahaha So yeah, it all works out. Grown and Sexy, getting in shape and manifesting what I'd like to have in my life. 

UPDATE:
Yeah, I decided on the Kindle Fire. >:P

The Cave by Master Yao

Yippie! Master Yao said that I could post this as a guest post! :D Can you see me blushing with joy?! So anyway...Here's a picture of Master Yao: 

#Swoon! #Boss

Ok... and here is a link to his site: THE GRAND TRINE
(Make sure you get his book: Awakening the Master Feminine. I am about to kop that in March sometime. That and the book: The Oracle of Khemsa Nu. I'll be sure to write a review!)

and here is his short:


The Cave 

I woke up in my dream and realized I was dreaming again. I could not see very far in the dark room, but knew I was not alone. Anxiously I tried to remember what I was doing when I was awake, before I fell asleep, so that I could remember why I sent myself here. It was cold. The air seemed hard and dense. 
Then I remembered my home, the couch and her. There had been a fire in the room. I looked over and saw that it was out. I was trying hard to get somewhere, I remembered that. But where and why? I remembered vaguely that she fell on the floor, half naked, exhausted, and I fell on top of her. I could not see more. I felt around for her and felt what seemed like a leg. It was a leg! It was her leg. I felt her arm and back and hips and pulled all of that lusciousness against me. She felt good. The air seemed misty and warm. 
I was lying down next to her, we were on stone it seemed. Everything was murky. With my hands I spun silk, like a silkworm, and spread it under her. Pleased with my craft I kept spinning and weaving until she was encased in a great cocoon, soft and warm. Content that she was comfortable I crawled toward the dark abyss, dragging the heavy cocoon behind me. There was a current of warm air coming from there. Once inside it was like a cave, and the soft firm walls pressed on my back. Being inside aroused me and I merged inside the cocoon and probed the female inside. She moved, and I remembered her convulsions of pleasure the night before. It was very erotic, and I wanted to be awake. The air was hot and rigid. 
I felt thunder from the earth, and out of the abyss a rush, and her body taut. I wanted to squeeze her breasts but my hand did not move. It was tangled. The air was fresh with citrus. 
Then I woke up. “What the hell?” I thought. She and I were half naked on the floor of the bedroom. During sleep I had pulled sheet and blanket from the bed and partly wrapped us. That was the “silk”. One hand was pinned under her, unable to grasp the juicy breast inches away. The cave was either the bed or her womb, I am still not sure. I awoke with a great stiff boner, seeking to get in. She was half awake, one of her her hands blocking my entry, the other reaching for a pillow that was not there. Frustrated I untangled myself and sat in the chair, looking down at her voluptuous body, sinking deeper into sleep. I picked up the partly smoked cigar from the night before, that was the fire, and I lit the cigar and blew smoke in her direction. Maybe that would wake the heifer up damn it! Little chance. The air was normal air again. I wished then I was back asleep. I’m just saying…

When Two Become One By Owen Habel Lwanda and Lola K.

Pacify my trembling

Heart with the

Warmth of you blood.

Lay me to rest in a

Chariot of ecstasy

And take me

High above

The blue sensational

Sky.

Touch my waist

Kiss my lips

Lick my neck

Arouse my cravings

Then

Scream as I sigh

Take me to paradise

My hands shaking, yet eager to touch

Pulling, pushing, squeezing for life

Pain and pleasure dance gracefully together

As wetness drips from our lips

Hearts fully opened

There is no room for fear

Too enraptured in the now

To submerged in the here

Receive my sweetness

With open arms

Then interlock me

From within

Drop the power

Of my strength....

Drop the power

Of my strength

And then take me to ecstasy again…