Friday, March 7, 2014

Update On Writing

Hey everybody. I just want to let you know that I am going to be taking a temporary break from writing under Lola K. because I have another pen name that I want to focus on. The books that I write as Lola K. are books that are very close to my heart and completely honest...  but sometimes you have to do what you have to do to succeed in your industry so that you can do things like write from the heart. In my case, that means putting my energy into another pen name. So once that pen name is established and has an audience, then I will have the free time to write books under Lola K. again. I thank you for your understanding.

Friday, January 24, 2014

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Direction, Miguel and Drake

I'm going through a point in my life where I feel like I don't know what to do, what direction to go in to get what I want. In fact, now that I have articulated it, that's exactly what it is. It's the case with my entrepreneur goals, career goals and relationship.

First of all, y'all know how I am, there are always tunes playing. Right now, I am hooked on a Pandora station that I somewhat generated called, "Miguel Radio." On Miguel Radio they play Miguel, Drake, Chris Brown and other artists like that. It's a really good station and it has made me realize that I actually really like Drake. I didn't think I would ever say that. Hahaha. But, for those of you who do not have Pandora, here is a really good Drake song that you could jam to while you read this:

Drake- From Time to Time ft Jhene Aiko

Ok...So now that you are relaxing to that...I'll continue. 
As for my entrepreneur businesses, I feel like they are dependent on me having a good job and making more money. Having a real opportunity at growth in a company, you know? Maybe that's the problem...maybe it's because I feel like they are connected. Maybe I just need to change my attitude about that. It's just that right now I feel like I need to advertise to get my company to grow. But advertising takes money and the only way I know how to legitimately get money is working.
Then, there's my book and I don't know. Maybe I am just discouraged. I don't know if I should try to promote self publishing or if I should get a publisher. But either way I feel like I'm in the same boat... it takes money. It takes money to send to all of those publishers and I'm worried that my book might have too many cuss words for mainstream publishers. And *sigh.

I really need to get back into visualizing. Tomorrow I am going to get back on the horse and stop being discouraged. It's not that I've gotten off per say...cause I am writing this blog and simultaneously working on the 2Raw4TV Magazine. But I'm a little off the horse with my personal goals like Auset Kulani and my Novellla.

The good thing is that I finally finalized my recipe for the Brown Sugar Baby scrub. Here is a picture:

The pic is a link to the store as well.

It just looks so yummy! And I love the way it looks and feels on my hand when I am using it, and how moisturized and glowing my hands look when I'm done with it. Black Betty is off the market for a while, at least until I perfect the recipe (if I can ever perfect the recipe without completely changing it into something else).

Yo! Kendrick Lamar! They're playing this right now... back to what I was saying. Let's move on to my work goals. I feel like there is a bunch of stuff I can do but because I don't have a bachelor's degree in shit, then I don't ever qualify for jobs. Maybe I should just apply for them anyway. I got a brand-spanking-new, modern resume now. Excited about that. Wow. Sharing this with you all is changing my attitude. What the hell right? I should just go for it. It's just that sometimes I feel intimidated by the positions, even though I feel like, "Well if that bitch can do it, I can too." You know, I have life experience, I am self taught in a lot of things and I'm just an overall fast learner. I don't know. I'm about to be 30, you know? I feel some changes but sometimes it all just feels like the same shit, even though I am doing the visualizations, etc. There's like a threshold that I need to get through, feel me? That's what it is. 

What was the last thing? Oh... How could I forget? Relationship... 

Sooooooooooooooooo.... Here's what's going on with that: I have this guy and he is really cool and a good guy, but, there are things that are important to me that he just doesn't do. And what's crazy about it, is if I were to tell him about another girl who's guy was doing that to her OR if I were with another guy and telling him about that guy, he would be like, "Damn. You need to step it up and get a better dude." (Not in those words but that's what he'd be saying.) But when I try to tell him, he doesn't even want to listen to me. It sucks. I feel like I'm being taken for granted and taken advantage of and I don't want to break up with him, and if I fuss he won't listen, so I just don't know what to do. Right now, I am just pulling back a bit and maybe he will come to me... then maybe we can talk. I don't know. I just feel really lost. But... things always clear up. That's about all for now. I'll write soon. Peace. 

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Vicissitudes of Life

It's so funny. My ex-husband and I used to be in love. Now, we don't speak anymore. I'm partially to blame. I am the one, after all, who wrote the memoir. It was bound to happen. He was starting to only call me when he was really down and there was no one else to talk to. Maybe that's just my perspective. Funny...The word "love."

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Failure, Greatness and Success...

The other day, I was thinking that maybe there was nothing that I was great at. I thought that maybe there wasn't anything I was great at but there's a lot of things that I'm pretty awesome at. Then I started to think that maybe it wasn't that important to be great at something; maybe it's fine to just be good at stuff. But for whatever reason, it just kept irking me.

I began to realize that being good at stuff wasn't good enough for me. I want to be great at something. Here's the thing about me: I wouldn't consider myself to have low self esteem, in fact sometimes I think it's quite the contrary. It's just that my expectations for myself are So High, that it's like, my definition of Great is like Michael Jordan or Aretha Franklin. But you don't get there over night.

Since I've been out here in Iowa, I've really started to question my value. I've been fired a lot since I've been out here and being fired so many times can really make you question your worth. Especially when you are doing your best. Especially when you can compare yourself and your performance to people on paper/practically and KNOW that you are doing better than Most of your counterparts and yet, you are being fired and they are not.

But after talking to my friend today (after having a huge fight with her yesterday), I realized that I'm a Damn good friend. I'm a GREAT friend. I'm a great friend, I was a great wife, I make a great girlfriend, I'm even a great daughter (if I do say so myself). I'm a Great Person. If there were more people like me in the world, this world would be awesome. And that's the truth. That's how I feel. In some ways, I feel I am an artistic genius and I don't need people to buy my art to validate that. That's how I feel. I have tons of ideas and just because none of them have made me millions of dollars yet doesn't make them any less valuable.

I'm just fed up with defining myself by my apparent failures. I am great. I am successful now, just because I have a damn good heart. So yeah... that's how I feel about that.

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Long Time

Hey y'all. It's been a bit but I'm back. I've wanted to come back for a few days but I wasn't inspired to write anything. Or maybe I was just too upset to... you know how sometimes you have to wait on the passion to calm down before you can do something constructive with it? Well, that. haha. Anyway, There's a lot that's been going on but I can't type it all in one blog. What I am going to do, is cover a few things over a few days and that way you can all be caught up with what I've been doing. But, I will give you some teasers:

I have finished the final edit of my book and the cover, and it's up on Amazon and Smashwords. I'll post a link when I do the formal blog post about it. Actually...F*ck it. I'll give it to you now. At least the smashwords one. I have to adjust the Amazon copy.

I have officially opened my etsy store and am focusing on the Auset Kulani sector of Free New World, which is making my life so much easier. I have already made 2 sales! Very happy about that. Now I just gotta start learning about advertising. I'll give you that link now too:

And, as usual, I gotta turn y'all on to what I'm listening to right now. I just love this song. Means a lot to me: 

And! She's Guyanese! Like me! :) 

So, for now that's about all. I will be hitting y'all back up soon to let you know the pros and cons of my life and what all's been going down and more detail on the above. Peace. Oh! And before I go, I got a nice picture... finally. Here it is:

Love...Shooting the shit...

(haha this post is mad old but I wanted to publish it anyway.)

Love... I am inundated in love. The feeling is overwhelming.

Right now I am making some cheese stuffed meatballs with pasta and spaghetti sauce. It's pretty late but that's how my day went. I should watch a movie but I don't know if it's going to load. I have been jamming to this song:

It's a little cheesy but I like the vocals of the guy who sings the chorus.

I'm so in love that I can't even describe it. I'm so in love that hahahaha Wow!

I'm sipping on this wine right now. Cheap wine. I bought some Apothic Red the other day and it was awesome but today I got the $4 Oak Leaf and it's quite tasty.
I really can't believe that they did a song with snoop dogg *ahem* excuse me...snoop LION and Miley Fucking Cyrus...Gag me. And it's not even good. SMH!

I'm so in love I'm going to cry.

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Pissed. #4LBS

I am DONE with Pasta. I switched to rice and I started losing weight. I was 3 lbs away from my first goal and then I started eating spaghetti. In 1 WEEK, I gained 4 fucking pounds! THAT'S IT!!!!!! Back to rice! This is that BS!

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Gateway Market's Got Class

This weekend I really needed a mental pick me up. I needed something to help me affirm that I was wealthy, sexy and classy. I decided that the best thing to do, of course, would be to go out to a "cafe." I specifically wanted to go to a cafe because a cafe has a feel that a restaurant doesn't. It's that European (especially French) feel that I love so much. I had a few places in mind: Gusto (which I didn't know at the time was a pizza place), Palmer's Deli & Market (which was a lot nicer before they renovated), Noodles & Co., and Gateway Market's Cafe. I literally drove to all 4 of them, looked around and looked at their menus. I was actually planning on going to Palmer's deli because I had been there before and I just LOVED what I had seen but I feel like they lost a lot of their charm when they renovated. It's like they cut out half of their options. When I walked in there, it just felt empty. It could have been the time of day. I went to Noodles & Co but I really didn't want to take a chance that the bowl of food would be too small, plus, it didn't have that cafe feel. I drove to Gusto and once I read that it was a Pizza place, I drove off because I didn't want pizza. Then I went back to Gateway. (I say "back," because that was the first place I went.)
(Not my pic)

When I first walked into Gateway, I was quite pleasantly surprised. I had no idea it was a fancy-schmancy, Whole Foods/Trader Joe's type place. Wow. Can I just say totally European/New York/California. I felt like I was in a charming adult candy land. They had organic this and fresh that. Local this and exotic that. It was awesome. There's so much to explore in there. Here is a little taste of the inside:
(The one above isn't my pic)

I actually left and went to Palmer's because I had been wanting to eat there for a while but like I said, it was different than the last time I went. I came back to Gateway, looked around at all of the delicious options: Brands of Water that I'd never heard of, Amish Rotisserie Chicken (haven't had Amish chicken since I lived in MI.), the Pastry Shelf...My God. I had one of those rich, moist, dripping cinnamon rolls covered in pecans! My God it was heavenly. I still have some on top of the fridge. Tomatoes I had never heard of...I love tomatoes.
(That's my pic of their water )
(I took that pic for my mom.)

(<========== Here's my Pecan Cina-Roll)
But I had a mission. I wanted something delicious and classy to eat that was going to make me feel as special as I am. I waltzed into the cafe and looked at a paper menu because I can't stand looking up at those chalk menus. I want to really review my menu. I had narrowed it down to about 3 things: A Chicken Club sandwich- no bacon in the club- which was fine cause I didn't want bacon but I just found it strange that they named it "club." I've never heard of a club sandwich that didn't have bacon on it; a Corned Beef Reuben and they had a Tuna steak or something that caught my eye, but I really didn't feel like fish. I checked the menu to see if they had Pastrami instead of corned beef and they didn't, so I decided on the grilled chicken club. This chicken club sandwich was made with a Pesto Aioli sauce. I had never heard the word "aioli" before so of course, I asked how to pronounce it. (Ah-Oh-Lee) It's the green sauce on my sandwich below:

I was hesitant to order the onion rings because they were thin cut and I thought the were going to be too thin but it turned out well. I ordered a glass of Pinot Grigio and went to my seat. The meal came out and goodness gracious. It looked delicious. (That is my meal =============>)

Great portion size. They served the sandwich on a Focaccia Bun (like they were reading my mind) with extra provolone cheese (just the way I asked for it) and the pesto aioli. When I took a bite into that sandwich, I tell you the truth, my taste buds were restored. I had grown so weary of eating turkey sandwiches everyday at work; I needed something to remind me that food was awesome. This place did the trick. The chicken was juicy, the sauce was great, the onion rings weren't too thin or too greasy. Everything was on point and the service was great. I will definitely be going back to this place, not only for food but for groceries. I can't believe it took me so long to go. I am also going to take my bath salt there and see if they'd be interested in selling it.

(<========= My Bath Salts)
Not THAT would be cool! Alright everyone, I know I haven't been blogging as much but I've been really busy. I am going to do my best to blog when I am inspired. (Like I was this weekend.) Thank you Gateway Market, for being so classy and wonderful.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Catching Up.

I am making some body butter today. I am aiming to make body "cream," specifically. I don't have a lot to say today; I just kind of wanted to let you all know that I am still here. I am working on finding a balance between this and my other responsibilities. I have to work out tonight. I only have about 2 lbs to go to reach my first short term goal which is getting out of the double digit twos and into the single digits. Then I will only have 10 lbs to lose to get out of the 200's all together. :) That will be nice.

My birds just ate their second egg. That made me really change my attitude toward them. I guess I shouldn't judge them but still, it makes me uncomfortable to know that they are eating their own unborn progeny. 

I have to catch up on some blog reading tonight. :) That's the good thing about getting everything done on Saturday, I have time for what I really want to do on Sunday. 

I have started to claim that I am a Master of the LoA. I am going to get there so may as well claim it now. I can manifest what ever I like. 

Otherwise, I am feeling well. Catch up with you all later. 


Lola K.